Dreams

After waking up today I looked for this photo. I have no idea what was in the mind of the street artist during this piece but it is one I remember more than most. Whether or not there is method to the apparent madness, I may never know.

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I woke up, wide awake at 3am this morning and realised how many dreams I was having. My mind was incredibly active despite the fact that I have now forgotten most of what I was dreaming. It felt like a conveyor belt of different scenarios, a roller-coaster taking me through new scenes that my mind is conjuring up on the spot. Did you ever play video games in the 90’s/ early 00’s? The way city landscapes only appeared/ generated as you got closer to them? I guess we never know what we are getting into until we arrive.

I also felt like I discovered a whole new level of this thought machine we know so little about, like looking under a plank of wood and seeing a whole army of ants doing their own thing without our acknowledgement. When I woke it felt like I remembered something that I shouldn’t, like kids caught playing when they should be in bed. My brain was just farting out all kinds of weird, wacky, colorful situations that I have no option but to watch as I restore my energy. Although it has almost completely vanished from memory, I know it happened. Sometimes this reality terrifies me, other days it astounds me.

It is hard to believe that I am using my brain to analyse my brain and come to the conclusion that I do not know everything about it. Despite the fact that it is still me. It is pretty incredible that this is our reality.

Do you get so deep in thought about your own life experiences? I guess we all do to an extent. Maybe the art above is just a direct copy of what the artist was thinking just before his or her morning coffee. What is seemingly nonsensical during the day may make complete sense every night, we just forget about it most of the time.

Solace.

It is a shame that as I grow older, I feel safer in areas away from people. This should not be the case, it has always been safer to hunt in packs. Now, the busier the venue, the more uncomfortable I feel.

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Shortly after hearing of last nights attack my mum called, as is often expected after such an event. She told me she was about to call my sister and wish her luck as she is going climbing today… and to stay safe. I reassured her that I am much more content with my sister climbing a mountain than walking through a city.

How perceptions change. I do not know if this is a sign of the times or my realisation that humans can be pretty awful, more than I knew in the bubble we all grow up in as children. Nature can be brutal, but it isn’t brutal to intentionally cause suffering. This is why I cannot hate a violent storm or natural disaster, as tragic as they may be I take comfort in knowing that it wasn’t due to evil. Lightening doesn’t strike to scare you and the rain doesn’t pour to bring you down. It may scare you and bring you down but without the sadistic intention. Some people may believe such events are repercussions for human decisions, not that I have time for those people.

I am having a 24-hour withdrawal from social media today and all of the opinions, claims and blames that will no doubt be forming after yesterdays news.

Today, give me a beach, calm waters and a dog and I am happy.

Clarity

‘He has made it quite clear to you that he exists. You are acting like a fool.’

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It was only when I uploaded the above image onto this blog post that I realised this wasn’t a photograph at all. It looks more like a painting. Did I take it and change the filter? Did I take a snap of a painting? I have many photos from a similar height and location, I am just unsure of this one. With the bright sunshine pouring onto the main road below and onto the roofs of every building around it, I wanted to associate this with the comment I received recently.

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Another that I found from the same day, it seems to be the image quality after upload. It adds something to the image I guess. But I don’t want to drift away from the original claim that I am a fool. Let’s get back to that.

The sun is shining.

Check.

I am aware that the sun is shining.

Check.

It would seem to be a foolish move to associate this with anything other than nature. Countless religions and civilizations have claimed this to be the work of their God. I am pretty damn sure, given the chance to converse with anyone from any of these belief systems, I would be considered a fool for not coming to the same conclusion as they did. The problem is, which God is making it clear that he exists? Amaterasu? Apollo? Mithras? Ra? Your God makes it as clear as any other of his or her existence. The problem is, he or she does not make it clear at all, or at least as clear as any other.

I will never be satisfied with such a God. If a deity can only prove his or her existence through nature, it is not clear that he or she exists. That is, unless your God looks like a yellow ball in the sky and requires you to wear sun-cream. I can claim that Ra is my God and already I have an argument of equal validity. It is obvious isn’t it? All you need to do is look up, just remember to put your shades on. He speaks to me, he hasn’t spoken to you? Maybe you aren’t listening. Pray harder.

The problem isn’t that I am foolish enough to ignore the signs, it is that the signs are so vague they can be associated with anything. Please do not be foolish enough to see signs when there aren’t any.

A God needs to clarify their own existence if they truly want to prove themselves against the competition. There is a reason why so many deities still exist on our small world, a lack of such clarity.

Fear

Before any flight, I have a few drinks at the bar. I am no alcoholic however if I was to have a job requiring frequent air travel, I may well become one.

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I’m not the guy in the above photo, by the way. It is a friend looking pretty relaxed on our way to a festival a couple of summers back. The sunshine didn’t cease, sadly neither did our sunburns. This weather is always a shock to our northern English skin.

I fear flying, I also love flying. I am no good with heights and the fact that -50c temperatures, 600 mph windspeeds and a 35,000 ft drop is right outside the window I’m looking out of, both astounds and terrifies me. The most extreme of extremes right there, with the odd temporary distraction whilst cabin crew hand me an orange juice. I understand that flight is so reliable that this is a pointless worry. It doesn’t help. Despite my concerns I make myself look out of the window. I tell myself that I am one of the first generations of humanity to ever experience what earth looks like above the clouds. I can travel anywhere within a day if I can afford it, to lands that my ancestors didn’t know existed.

For this reason I make myself fly. I want to experience what is unique to modern day humans. At the same time, it is frightening to consider how far behind we are. To consider that I will fly over nations that would have me killed for my opinions. Some nations still burn ‘witches’. Our technology is growing faster than our own intelligence, distance and tolerance need to coincide. With more and more people travelling overseas I can only hope we are forced into a more tolerant mindset, I guess I could advertise blogging to those that are easily offended by a differing culture. It is better to vent anger in words on a blog post than to blow up the interior of an aircraft mid flight.

Who knew militant atheism could sound so good?

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I appreciate anyone that is willing to read my ramblings of life, travel, religion and atheism. Last night I received my four hundredth follower, and for that I am very grateful. If I was to invite you all to a party in celebration it would take a couple of 757’s. Or enough people to fill 400 of our bright red British telephone boxes. It sounds great to say that 😉

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Photo Credit: Daryan Shamkhali at Unsplash
Hopefully when I fly on an A380 in September to Sydney via Singapore I can boast a following that would be enough to fill that, too. One can dream and no-one can stop that!

Cheers everyone,

Sam

 

Preservation

I feel my blog posts can sometimes give mixed messages. This post probably won’t help, however I hope it can be relatable.

I watched a very eerie video today, I took two messages from it. Firstly, we are all hostage to time. Secondly, although I want to embrace the future I should not shun the past.

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The above image was taken in Texas, I cannot remember the exact area, it wasn’t far from Amarillo. A town with a pride in its history, the colours and design begging for my attention. Heck if history is something I want to evade, why would I spend so much time observing it? The truth being, I don’t want to shun history, I just want to see it as that. History.

As much fascination as I get learning of the Aztecs and Vikings, I would be pretty pissed off if I had to live like one today. I am more than willing to take aspects of history that are still of benefit today without feeling obliged to respect it all.

During the elevator ride up One World Trade Center, a fantastic animation displays New York City’s history in under one minute. St. Paul’s Chapel emerges very early in the animation and remains there for the duration. The Twin Towers emerge and fade away in a few short seconds.

It is astounding that a building designed in the 1700’s is still visited by tourists and a 20th century building was destroyed by terrorists with beliefs very fitting of the centuries past. I cannot deny the desire to keep such an old building standing. I can reject the beliefs that led to it being built.

I value history, always have and always will. Does this mean I should resort to history for answers to 21st century questions? Never have and probably never will. The future will be far too exciting. If we obsess over history we will never truly appreciate having what our ancestors didn’t.

 

Priorities

The clock barely struck noon. As I ordered I wondered if it was too early for such large quantities of meat, at just £9.50 for two courses I was going to give this great Turkish restaurant my best shot. I spent late morning/early afternoon with my mum, I need to make family time when I can. September is just around the corner, relatively speaking.

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I have realised after the loss of my dad that family time cannot be a burden. I used to take it for granted, only for a great part of it to be taken from me without much warning. Three months to be exact. I have started to cherish the family arguments and fall outs a lot more, these in turn have become few and far between. We spend much more time making time of value, it is a great shame that we sometimes learn lessons after the test.

I have also learned that as far as I may search for someone that shares my core beliefs and ideologies, the ones bringing me up may be the best people to speak to. I may spend my whole life looking for someone that understands me as well as my family. Some people do not have this, a huge reason as to why I blog. I hear of family members being disowned or shunned out by family for thinking differently, I cannot believe this is a reality so many have to face. The irony of being an atheist is that despite my appreciation for stars forming the beings that brought me into this world and proving shelter and care, if I was born at the wrong time and into the wrong family, they may punish me for coming to such a conclusion. The love of a parent perceived from a scientific perspective is too much for some parents, rejecting a religious outlook can lead to a complete reversal of such love, whether it be abandonment or even murder. This terrifies me. The fact that some people on earth can show love until you openly practice a separate belief… If this love can be taken so quickly, was the love there at all?

I thank my family, those still with me and the ones that aren’t, for allowing me to come to my own conclusions. You are the tolerant heroes I need in an intolerant world.