Dreams

After waking up today I looked for this photo. I have no idea what was in the mind of the street artist during this piece but it is one I remember more than most. Whether or not there is method to the apparent madness, I may never know.

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I woke up, wide awake at 3am this morning and realised how many dreams I was having. My mind was incredibly active despite the fact that I have now forgotten most of what I was dreaming. It felt like a conveyor belt of different scenarios, a roller-coaster taking me through new scenes that my mind is conjuring up on the spot. Did you ever play video games in the 90’s/ early 00’s? The way city landscapes only appeared/ generated as you got closer to them? I guess we never know what we are getting into until we arrive.

I also felt like I discovered a whole new level of this thought machine we know so little about, like looking under a plank of wood and seeing a whole army of ants doing their own thing without our acknowledgement. When I woke it felt like I remembered something that I shouldn’t, like kids caught playing when they should be in bed. My brain was just farting out all kinds of weird, wacky, colorful situations that I have no option but to watch as I restore my energy. Although it has almost completely vanished from memory, I know it happened. Sometimes this reality terrifies me, other days it astounds me.

It is hard to believe that I am using my brain to analyse my brain and come to the conclusion that I do not know everything about it. Despite the fact that it is still me. It is pretty incredible that this is our reality.

Do you get so deep in thought about your own life experiences? I guess we all do to an extent. Maybe the art above is just a direct copy of what the artist was thinking just before his or her morning coffee. What is seemingly nonsensical during the day may make complete sense every night, we just forget about it most of the time.

Fear

Before any flight, I have a few drinks at the bar. I am no alcoholic however if I was to have a job requiring frequent air travel, I may well become one.

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I’m not the guy in the above photo, by the way. It is a friend looking pretty relaxed on our way to a festival a couple of summers back. The sunshine didn’t cease, sadly neither did our sunburns. This weather is always a shock to our northern English skin.

I fear flying, I also love flying. I am no good with heights and the fact that -50c temperatures, 600 mph windspeeds and a 35,000 ft drop is right outside the window I’m looking out of, both astounds and terrifies me. The most extreme of extremes right there, with the odd temporary distraction whilst cabin crew hand me an orange juice. I understand that flight is so reliable that this is a pointless worry. It doesn’t help. Despite my concerns I make myself look out of the window. I tell myself that I am one of the first generations of humanity to ever experience what earth looks like above the clouds. I can travel anywhere within a day if I can afford it, to lands that my ancestors didn’t know existed.

For this reason I make myself fly. I want to experience what is unique to modern day humans. At the same time, it is frightening to consider how far behind we are. To consider that I will fly over nations that would have me killed for my opinions. Some nations still burn ‘witches’. Our technology is growing faster than our own intelligence, distance and tolerance need to coincide. With more and more people travelling overseas I can only hope we are forced into a more tolerant mindset, I guess I could advertise blogging to those that are easily offended by a differing culture. It is better to vent anger in words on a blog post than to blow up the interior of an aircraft mid flight.

Who knew militant atheism could sound so good?

Preparation

If I wasn’t flying to Sydney in September, I probably wouldn’t go to the gym as often. I wouldn’t blog as much. My work ethic wouldn’t be as high. For me to do these things even when I am not feeling it is because I have an end goal. I need something to look forward to no matter how big or small, so when I lose motivation or inspiration I remember that in the end it always pays off.

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A chess board upon a table in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. 
If I don’t make fun plans for the weekend, my mid-week motivation to eat healthy just isn’t there. It is important for me to give myself a reason to work hard and keep on top of anything. You may be the same. I now have a deadline, one that I enjoy aiming for. I want to lose a few pounds and gain a few in my wallet, blog every day and give myself enough content for a book that I am currently working on. Without the exciting prospect of travel, I would have a terrible time saving money or making time. How could I feel content staying in when my friends are at a bar or spending money on great food? Knowing I have something in the diary, that’s all I need. Don’t get me wrong I love to blog and keep fit, but my alone time isn’t something I want to avoid as much or feel like it should be something to avoid. I prefer to do these alone as my time can be focused purely on my own work.

I won’t give up after September but it will get the ball rolling. I am sure the ball will keep rolling with new stories to talk of, new opportunities to learn and new people to meet.

Many people I encounter daily don’t have such inspiration yet if they give themselves that date to work towards, there is an excuse to make tomorrow different and escape the pattern that takes the wind from our sails.

So long, procrastination!

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Recreation

It seems making a living can be easy if your job involves being on the brink of death. To think the potential to earn millions and gain as many followers can be achieved by simply doing what no one else would ever want to. All the debt and financial struggles, the job you hate, all the holidays you could ever want are just a click away. Would it be worth the risk? I guess we all have to meet our end someday…

One mans construction site is another mans playground. Do you know people make a living (a very good one at that) secretly breaking into such areas and filming their ascent?

 

Here is a snippet of one such climber, James Kingston, on his adventure climbing the Eiffel Tower and weirdly being banned from climbing it for three years… Why three years is beyond anyone.

It does give me a different perspective on construction sites, this one I walk past daily as as new four-star hotel starts to rise from the foundations. It may seem ugly from the ground but the views from the top anything but.

I’ll take their word for it.

 

Imagine

Times change. Buildings rise and empires fall. As inconvenient this must be for those at such times of change, imagine if we didn’t allow any adaption. As I grab a sandwich and coffee I’m staring at this view out of the window and pondering… What would our place in this world be like?


We wouldn’t marvel at architecture of the past. We wouldn’t strain our necks gazing to the roofs of high rises penetrating the rain clouds above and out of view. We wouldn’t appreciate classical music and understand what paths were carved leading to the radio hits of today. We would simply be in an era like every other. The same, changeless era. We would share so much with past generations that they would be of no interest. I love change and thinking in new ways, even if people don’t want that kind of thinking in our society. Should I care if my opinions aren’t welcomed?

Did musicians care when introducing the electric guitar despite the controversy? Did Martin Luther King care when making his voice heard in an age of segregation? It’s not my duty to care, it is the duty of the opposition to have the willingness to listen to new perspectives and consider the possibility that, just maybe, their beliefs may crumble to dust like the buildings of past, hostage to time. I’m not saying that I am the one creating the new, I’m simply excited and not offended that something new is constantly around the corner. 

Rejection.

A cross and statue of Virgin Mary (out of view) overlooking a town in Maragogi, Brazil.

It is interesting that we mourn those that are no longer with us despite suffering only being inflicted upon the ones that are still breathing.


It took me a couple of years to get over an existential crisis, one that had me struggling to cope with the fact that I was forced into existence 27 years ago and one day will be forced out of it. It isn’t the mentality I choose to adopt, it morphed into this uncomfortable perception around mild episode of mental illness. A passenger on a roller-coaster with no control over the destination, the ups and downs of life coming and going, riding the wave with no control over where the wave is taking me. It was the worst feeling in the world.
I can cope with reality today, some days more than others. One thing I cannot cope with is the idea that we are born, need to believe or fully commit to a religion or face an eternal punishment for failing to do so. The kind of person that has the nerve to utter such words is person I have no respect for. They say hate is a strong word and for those that can honestly say they don’t dislike anyone enough to hate, I feel they aren’t being honest with themselves.

‘If you’re struggling to find God, you aren’t looking in the right places.’

‘Lose yourself in scripture or find a place of worship, maybe then you will find God.’

‘You aren’t praying or praying hard enough.’

‘You need another outlook on life, you are seeking truth in the wrong way.’

How about stop telling me what I should be doing to meet your ideals? If a vegetarian doesn’t eat meat, I don’t tell them ways to find meat. They don’t want it and it is a pointless conversation. If I don’t want to put effort into finding God, don’t give me tips to find him. That isn’t what I am looking for. I am looking to meet people in my life that come to me as often as I see them and if I have to put effort into finding God, he isn’t worth my time. I’ve got shit to do.

Thanks

Thank you to what seems to be every nation apart from the UK celebrating Mother’s Day today, resulting in the annual moment of panic as I fail to remember ours has already been and gone. This actually leads on quite fittingly from my Words post earlier today.


Also, thank you to everyone who follows, reads and likes my blog for allowing me to hit 13,000 views  today. I love you all!